A Lesson In forgiveness.

I had a realization today, no actually I had it sometime back but I just shoved it away. I had a buffet dinner , and during the dinner my baby cousin accidentally banged the chair into the hand of my aunty . My cousin asked her to apologize and she did , reluctantly of course. Imagine this , children are supposed to be the purest of soul (regardless how much I dislike them) but yet its seems as though even they have pride . A sense of pride that will never show that they're weaker or inferior even if they're wrong . What does it potray ? That human's at best , we're still a bunch of nutjobs? It made me realize something..

...Why is it always so damned hard to apologize ?

..and morever when received apology why is it always that hard to forgive?

Every now and then , everyone makes mistakes . Regardless big or small , we are prone to taking the wrong steps and usual cases we happily receive that bitchslap from god and move on with a lesson learnt. Well , thats usually the case.

There are cases where we hold a grudge and even if we dont , we refuse to forgive that person for the way they made us feel. Is pride the reason that you wont let go or perhaps just let it slip? Or is it a defensive system to avoid feeling the same way you felt. No expectation , hence no disappointment . But really , what does it justify when you return the favour of hurting the person who hurted you and in the process affecting everyone who's around you?

What I really failed to understand is the point in all this. Regardless of how you think is appropriate to handle a situation it is still important not to disregard of what effects you may have on others by taking that action . And I still fail to understand how can one mistake , although a big one can can destroy an entire amount of things built on the foundations of decades.

Its been six months now , and I've put the whole issue behind me . I would understand if, at first it would be a bit tough to just let it slip . But , I've managed to just carry on . Isnt it time for everyone else to do so as well? Have all the memories of decades lost the mistake of one? Was everything we lived for that trivial? Why must we be filled with this much angst? Why is it that the biggest asshole have learnt this lesson and none in here have?

Moreover, there are bigger issues to handle than this. Even so , it does not justify shoving these matters aside. Seriously , why cant we just let the past be the past? We are a family after all , and isnt that what a family is supposed to do ? We make mistakes , we laugh , we cry , we cherish and we move on . As a family.

Has personal pride triumphed over everything else? Even the importance of yourself and others? Being the only one who's put all this behind me , I'm stuck in the middle . I dont want to take sides. I remain neutral . Yet , everyday I still hear stuff . Contemplating in which truth to uphold . Does all of this really matter that much compared of everything else?

We should all learn a lesson..

...A lesson in forgiveness.

.. A lesson in priorities.

Maybe , one day.. Just maybe , we can all be a family again .
Until then , I will just have to be patient.