American Idol!

I admit, my 40k life has been fairly nonexistent lately. So my blogging has taken a back seat. I've been playing SWTOR, and working on banners. But the issue is simply the man cave!  Before I moved my computer was easily accessible. I could take five minutes, go into my man room, and work here and there. Now though I have to go all the way to the basement and it makes the wife crazy. When I finally do get downstairs to my lair, I have so many things to do that I get overloaded!

But really, I have had little to write about.  There are enough guys giving daily opinions about 40k, you don't need me adding to the soup.  Just look at my blogroll!  The Walking Dead is out of action for a few more weeks so I cant do Zombie Theory.  Hell on Wheels, while a decent show, left little to the imagination.

Enter American Idol.

I started watching this crap a couple years ago. The wife sucked me in. Well it started again this week. The wife made me watch. Thats my story and I'm sticking with it.

I have to say though, that I enjoy it! Yes, that's right, I like this contrived crapturd of a show.  But not because it is about people singing... when you watch it with a critical eye, and pay attention to what is real and what is produced drama, then you start to enjoy it as a show.

For example. On Wednesday, there was a brother and sister pair. The previous year they auditioned as a duo, the boy made it to the next round, the girl did not.  He was soon cut.  This year he "chose" not to audition and she decided to go it alone.  In as obvious a piece of produced TV as I have ever seen, the judges insisted that he come in and audition too! That he should not give up, that he should try again. After some fake hesitance he decided to sing, and knocked it out of the park.  Then the producers went on to imply some sort of sibling rivalry by showing shots of her looking less than pleased.

I call shit! Pardon my francais.

First of all, there is no way any one who performs at such a high level could walk into a room cold and blast out an audition. I am no singer, but I do know that vocal cords, like muscles, need to warm up.  If this kid was there to support his sister and not audition, he would not be ready. It would be like pulling Peyton Manning out of his street clothes and throwing him into a game in the second quarter after he has not played all year.

There are a few implications here.

First, was the kid actually was there to audition? He either was there to sing, or he was not.  If he was there to audition, he actually did warm up and was ready because he was put on the spot and walked in to sing. The producers want us to believe that the judges encouraged this kid to come in and try out to show that any one can do it blah blah.

I can buy it that the kid did not need warmup time.  Again, I am not a singer, so I guess a singer could walk into a room cold and belt it out.  But I don't buy it for a second that he was not there to audition.  It's too cute a story. Too made for TV.

But also, the few seconds of camera time given to the girl scream over production.  They no doubt had a camera on her every second she was in the room, but once she was done singing, they only showed her for a few glimpses. And of course, every time they showed her, she was not looking happy. OM MY what is going on do we have drama? Do we have a sibling fight in the brewings spurred on by the judges? Could little Molly Sunshine be upset because she was trying to get out from under her brother's wing but he spoiled it?  I mean seriously, look at her face! She must be upset, every time they flash to her she is not smiling.

Oh the magic of Television.  God knows how long they were actually in that room. And yes, you can bet there was a camera on them the entire time.  All it took was 10 seconds of her lost in thought, reflecting on her performance, muscling down nerves, politely burping under her breath, and the hack producers have all they need.  "Ok guys, we have a little story here, the kid is giving Steven Tyler a hug, quick queue up an image of the girl we caught 10 minutes ago as she was inspecting her own fart."

Sure there could be sibling rivalry. But frankly, if the story is as it was portrayed, she should be thanking her brother. Without him she is just another Janis Joplin/Mellisa Ethridge copy cat karoke singer.  The fact that her brother made it to the second round last year made her interesting. Little else. Now the producers are just going to milk the drama out of their relationship that they can, and will no doubt zoom in on her face when she gets the bad news that she is not making to the next round and her brother is.  Oh by the way, I'm calling it. Brother goes beyond next round. Sister is sent packing.

There were a dozen other stories. Some times piled on so thick I wanted to puke. The kid who's mother walked out on him, leaving him and his father homeless and his dad in the hospital.  He was up there begging for his chance and they gave it to him. He was terrible! Other kids who did better were sent home while he was given a golden ticket because he had a sobbier story.  Oh how the producers love the sob stories!

The coal miner kid, the big blonde who tried to commit suicide.  (Yes she was actually good.)  Frankly the most enjoyable part of this weeks episodes was the tall brunette who just wanted a piece of Steven Tyler. That made me laugh. I swear she looks like some chick I hooked up with in college that stalked me for weeks. I had weird shivers.   Then there is the lecherous way ST looks every chick up and down as they walk in and out the room.  One of those girls was 15 and he oogled her like a Playboy centerfold on television.

There should be no kids on the show. You should be 18. I think it was last year they had a young girl on there, and there was a scene where they tried to make her look sexy because she was singing with a hot older girl. It failed. It was awkward, and every one knew it, especially the young girl. She was uncomfortable and was forced into it by the producers.  Terrible. How about the adolsecent virgin teenage boy singing songs about sex? Well it's gona happen again, they gave another Justin Bieber look alike a golden ticket.  I don't think they should have children up there singing songs about life they have not lived.  How is that 15 year old girl supposed to compete with the last blonde they showed who hit rock bottom after scraping by on the New York City streets.  We are defined by our struggles, and that young girl's only hardship was no doubt being picked on in middle school for being a chorus nerd. How is she going to relate when J-Lo gives her advice about digging deep into her emotions and experiences?

Get em off the show.

My favorite parts are any bits with Ryan Seacrest. He is such a goober and doesn't even know it. He has no regard for the regular people he is interacting with and has no idea how to relate to them.  I get a kick out of watching him mess up on air, then get all bent out of shape when he gets called on it. It doesn't happen much because Simon is gone and he was good at calling Ryan out.  But it made me laugh when he paraded that African dude back in with a trio of 7 year old kids and some old redneck because they liked the guys singing. That was entertaining TV.

Ok enough for now, here is to another season of JLO holding out her arms and pointing out her goosebumps, Randy yelling "Dog", Steven Tyler making no sense and poor desperate kids embarrassing themselves on National TV. I only hope they got more priceless moments like the one kid who had a hissy fit and freaked out at the guys following him out the building. Good Stuff.

Please hurry February 12... please. Television needs TWD.

Jawaballs