Yes, I wrapped up the DuQuoine Hot-and-Muggy-and-Retarded-and-"Whatsis For?"-and-"Howzis Work?"-festival-for-people-who-love-the-lottory-booth-because-it's-the-only-free-thing-at-the-fair-fair. As one of the fair organizers stated "the longest 11 days of your life wasn't it?" Uh, yeah.
DUHHHHHHHHH...
I want to start a website, www.duhhhhhhhhhhhhh.com, and it's just a site full of celebrity pictures with DUHHHHHHHHHHHH! written under every one one of them. That's it. There's something so hilariously immature about letting out a big grade-school mock-stupid "Duhhhhhhhhh!", try it at work today. The next time someone says something obvious, let out a big, loud grade-school mock-stupid "DUHHHHHHHH"
DUHHHHHHHHH...
Mock-Stupid Duh was the name of my Competitive Eating Club in High School.
Jim McWilliams is now teaching High School at the High School I graduated from in Oxford, OH. He says it's great to finally have kids that are precisely his maturity level, he had previously taught 5th graders. On the first day of class his High Schoolers asked Jim if he wanted to start an afterschool Art Club. Jim said he wouldn't be interested in an Art Club but he would be interested in a Guinness Book of World Records Club. They begin planning to break the walking-backwards record next week. Hilarious.
Oh, the short-haired chick is Ashley Scott by the way, she was on this short-lived show called Birds of Prey, which is the Batman tv show you didn't know about.
Not really Batman, but Batgirl, Huntress, and Oracle, three characters from the Batman comic book who fight crime. Didn't see it, though i'd love to. I'm a huge live-action superhero movie fan and I am all-inclusive in my worship. If I can drag my VCR to my buddies house in 1995 to tape the Generation-X(based on the X-Men comic book, not the generation) because he got better reception, then I will probably be interested in Birds of Prey. Having Ashley Scott along for the ride certainly helps.
I love casting agents. "We need variation, we need to show that Huntress is different, she likes baseball instead of going to the mall. I've got it, short hair." The character has been officially developed, feel free to skip some meetings.
Ashley was also in the best movie of all time Into the Blue. But it's not really a movie so much as an excuse to presell Foreign rights with Jessica Alba's ass.
You know why I like that picture, because I now know precisely what her vagina looks like.
Ashley Scott, Jessica Alba, and Paul Walker. They don't look like they could figure out how soup works between the three of them.
It would be an entirely different movie if Ashley were still wearing her Sassafrass.
Uh, I'll take C.
My next-door neighbor in Carbondale was a Golden Corrall. I ate there a lot. I love buffets, I love anything that's good kitsch and also good, Jim McWilliams for example.
There's something hilariously sad about being in Carbondale at 10pm, sitting in a place that calls it's clientele cattle while reading The Thing meets The Man-Thing which I bought for 75 cents in town.
I tried to eat healthy, but I'm sure somewhere around the two-pound mark even salad becomes unhealthy.
Every kid at the fair was named Austin or Wyatt.
So I drove the six hours back to Chicago, finishing up my unabridged reading of David Geffen's biography and delving into The Teaching Company: Great Religions, excited to sleep in my own bed, a little beaten by the DuQuoine experiment, and I got a call. It was Adam, the other Adam, the guy who tells me where to go.
"Hey, I'm so sorry, this is so last minute, but can you be in Sandwich tomorrow morning for the Sandwich fair?"
"I don't even know what language you're speaking dude."
"Sandwich, Illinois."
"They named a town, Sandwich?"
"Yes, but that's not important right now.
And so begins another journey to another hotel room in another corner of that state that I previously thought bordered Kentucky somewhere just below 108th street and bordered Missouri somewhere just past Pulaski. As always, I'll keep you posted.
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
0 Yorumlar