I haven't blogged about The Celebrity Apprentice all season because, since my friends react to my addiction to the show with disdain, I assume nobody else watches it and nobody else cares. But fuck it. The original seasons of The Apprentice, its two celebrity seasons, and even the U.K. version have given me so much joy that I want to shout my love off of rooftops.Because I was on a writing deadline last night, I couldn't see the epic live 3-hour season finale of The Celebrity Apprentice in real time, so I had to watch it later and was up until 3 a.m., witnessing comedian Joan Rivers go head-to-head with poker champion Annie Duke. Man, my blood boiled any time Annie came on screen all season long, so I was rooting for Joan all the way.
Before this season of Celebrity Apprentice, I didn't really have an opinion about Joan, but this 75-year-old tough mother (refreshingly candid and jokey about her own plastic surgery) is now adored by me, and, goddamn, I'm so happy she won.
Their final boardroom showdown is one for the history books. And, as vicious as the attacks get, my favorite part is when Annie says, "For six boardrooms, I sat here and acted professional," and Joan corrects her by emphatically declaring, "Professional-ly." Ha ha ha ha ha! Watch:
Perhaps the most memorable scene all season was the firing of Melissa Rivers (Joan's daughter), who had a complete meltdown, who yelled at producers with fury, who refused to do the customary post-firing interview, and who lashed out at her competitors by calling them "whore pit vipers." For giving the world that phrase alone, the show should be praised. Think of someone you despise. Scream out "whore pit viper!" Don't you feel better now?
Melissa's meltdown was such great television that Entertainment Weekly even reported about it. And, yes, there is video available. Watch:
Alas, the show has been renewed for 2010. Bring on the whore pit vipers!
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